Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize