ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Panties = found
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