Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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