so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
