Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
