how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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