I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
