i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
