i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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