I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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