You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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