is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize