About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
