I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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