Need sex. Gaining weight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
