Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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