Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I still have a little drunk in my system
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
