have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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