I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
