Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
