We named our party play list daddy issues
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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