i just google imaged poop.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
