glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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