Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
