Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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