Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
