i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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