Kiss
Puke
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Blood and glitter go together right?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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