I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
