Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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