Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
