The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i barfeds in our rink
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
