Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
