wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
