i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Randomize
