i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
