It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize