morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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