i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we're making bets on your personal life
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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