i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
