May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
