i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
birth control should be required to get into college
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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