What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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