I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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