For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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