I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
