So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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