drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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