I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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