was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
