i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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