Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
