Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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