Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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