i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
