So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just blew my weed a kiss
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
