dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
