youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize