just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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