You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
