Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
