Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
