her vagine was all disorganized.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
