drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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