Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
