There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize