hotel room ftw
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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