she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My pussy is not your playground.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
