You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
