there's paper in my vomit.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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