I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
