the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
